In 2012, I remember the moment when my whole life changed. It was the moment I decided to follow my heart and say “Yes” to my marriage to my husband. We all have those moments when one choice turns into many that take you on a whole other direction. That was what it felt like when it happened. I was sitting at the Pokai Bay beach in my hometown in Waianae, Hawaii. I sat there for several hours just thinking about what I truly wanted and a huge part that was missing in my life was my personal life and being with my true family.
It was a scary moment, but the happiest moment at the same time.
My heart hurt because that would mean leaving behind the “spiritual family” that I thought was the most important thing in my life. The vision, the teacher, my title, everything that I worked so hard to create for 8 years of my life was gone. It took 6 months of agony with this “group” who I thought was my family turned into me becoming their “enemy.” I couldn’t believe how marrying my soul mate could be the most horrible thing that they asked me to give up, but that was how it was.
Looking back I see now how I made the best decision. Being overworked, underpaid, devalued my own creative gifts to serve someone else’s agenda was not the way to live. In serving, I forgot who I was as an individual and what I wanted was put on the back burner for a long time.
Why do we make such choices?
The only explanation I can think of was that I needed to experience this to really embody my own power and authority. That is what this new paradigm is about. Our whole purpose and divine work is about this one thing regaining consciousness of our own “Power and authority.” To realign to our soul’s original energy, who we are at soul level which we have forgotten. That is what it means to have “forgotten” who we are. We have made conscious and unconscious negative choices away from our divine nature.
Believe me, we do it all the time! It has nothing to do with being a “negative” soul. We choose it. Even the little things we do out of obligation because that is just what we need to do. We “buy” into it all the time. That’s where I was in the beginning. So unaware although I thought I was working and living a “spiritual” life.
It took me about a year after this situation “happened” to me to realize this. My awakening wasn’t this all “pretty, fluffy, feeling so good” experience to find my sacred feminine path. It was an initiation, the most difficult thing I ever did for myself. I “digested” all the good and bad things about myself. I became “raw” and real about everything I was feeling. I took more responsibility of all that I did and decided to create. You can ask my husband I looked like I was this “unstable” strange manic person because I questioned everything and was digging down deep to get to the “truth.” To my truth and after that finally universal truth. And what it came down to is, I was “Nothing.”
If you go through this process you will understand in the end what I mean. I seriously became “nothing.” I didn’t desire anything. Didn’t feel the need to even help anyone because I realized there really is “nothing” to really do. Life is just about an experience. We all have our own path that we are creating anyway and it is by choice.
This may shock you coming from a Psychic Intuitive because it goes against everything that I do. I see that, but I’m now not attached to things that so called represents “me” in anyway. It’s a different way of seeing and living life now.
When I read a book that a good friend of mine suggested. I could then understand this 3 year process I went through. It’s a trilogy book starting from the book “Spiritual Enlightenment the Damnest thing” by Jed Mckenna. This process he calls it “spiritual autolysis” where you keep digging deep until you get to the truth. If you are really serious about spiritual growth or enlightenment, this will change your whole perspective about life and enlightenment.
Because I’m a woman, I called this blog accepting my feminine sacred path because it’s really an initiation, about embodying my divinity and intuitive being. And, it’s really a process that needs to be respected. I had to experience and learn how to be a wife, a mother, a feminine entrepreneur all at once.
Everyone may at some point go through this and how deep one wants to go is a choice and it never really ends. Its a birthing, you build a whole new character when you finally finish the initiation. This is my 5th initiation and I see more up ahead.
Realize though, there are two things that need to happen in this initiation. You have to make a “conscious” choice to change from one vibration state to another. You start by letting go all aspects of yourself and slowly start to embrace your authentic, intuitive self and then your real gifts just start showing up.
I’ll leave it at that, that’s another blog to write. Just know, our life is a path and we are writing it with every choice we make.
I invite you to take the time to look at what path are you currently taking? Is it truly what you want in your life?
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Lots of Love,
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